Memory Lapsing In Color

My name is Jason, often times something obscure will trigger my memory, like many I'm sure, but unfortunately I have to good a memory and these are those thoughts. Some of these triggers, are intimate and sexually graphic...oh god yes.

Brick wall

I’ve been trying to make myself cry for a few weeks now. Can’t seem to provoke any emotions out of myself. I should feel sad, I should feel regret, I should feel lonely, I’ve tried sad movies. getting drunk. smoking weed, yet nothing seems to work. Im beginning to wonder if something is wrong with me? I don’t think this is normal. People are asking me if I’m okay and I just say yes out of habit or protocol. I wonder where it all went, I wonder if as you get older, do you become more jaded and bitter with age? If I’m really happy and look forward to the future and am living some of the best years in my life with freedom and friends and happiness does that mean i could be depressed? haha I don’t think so. Sometimes it’s purpose that binds us, whether we like it or not. However what is depressing is returning to a home town and seeing others and the choices they’ve made and stuck in the same spot sad and full of regret. I think they need to be woken up

Pros & Cons

  • Pros — Smell good, funny, flexible, good friendship, rather fix things than fight, amazing cook, great in bed, generous, caring, bangin body, love a lot of same music, never get bored, ride in a car in silence and enjoy your company, you hate liars, faithful, family oriented, spontaneous, creative, high morals, nice smile, piercing eyes, no make-up, you’ll bend over backwards to please me, you value my advice, your family loves me, you’re intoxicating, street smart, book smart, good with animals, you hunger for my love and attention, you’re stunning in the morning.

  • Cons—Vain, spoiled, flaky, unmotivated, compulsive, fickle, Your mom is crazy, your mom literally disgusts me, you don’t know when to quit, No doesn’t exist, you’re too competitive, everything is a battle, You think you’re better than you are, you’re mean to others behind their backs, you talk shit too, you’re too quick to burn bridges, your values are equivalent to a child’s, blaming others is always the answer, selfish, psychotic, self destructive, clingy, co-dependent, lazy, blindingly self-absorbed, inexperienced, you say one thing and do another, you’re emotionally unstable, you’re pro choice when it’s convenient, ungrateful, materialistic
The gigantic lobby Inside the Revel, Atlantic city

The gigantic lobby Inside the Revel, Atlantic city

Spiteful lies

Spiteful lies

The windy city, from my hotel window

The windy city, from my hotel window

Kansas city mo

Kansas city mo